I Love My Son

...as much as I'm capable of loving anyone.

My heart aches for him often.  He's a young adult, struggling in college, working part time.

We had an argument over the phone today.  Until it was resolved, and all was cool between us later, I was stressed, and sad.

I wish he could experience for two seconds how I feel about him, both the joy and the sorrow.  I'm afraid to die thinking he doesn't know I love him, how proud I am of him.

He is strong and courageous, stands up to me even in my lowest, craziest moments.  Sometimes that's good, sometimes it's not, cuz' he can really be a foolish kid .. pain in the ass ....sometimes.......  Most of the time we're good.

Religion

How often do religious expressions of calm acceptance of evil mask internal anguish, anger or disappointment?   Is it a passive aggressive way of directing blame at God for pain we are afraid to live with?

 "I believe that the Divine, force and free will are all intertwined. I have to bite my tongue when I hear of someone speaking of one who left us by other than natural causes, "it's so bad the Lord took him early" when all I can think is "you know, if he hadn't intentionally busted several laws of the State and physics he'd still be here, the Lord notwithstanding". " - more from Brigid the blogger..

  TodaysMausersAndMuffins

Apparently my desire and passion for writing, this blog or otherwise, ebb and flow, mostly ebb......  quoting and linking to other blogs is lame, but it's all I got right now.....

Christ Revealed

"Let us testify to the Savior in our attitudes, words, and deeds. Our world does not need theories concerning Christ, but rather the testimony of lives that reveal the Lord. There is hunger for the God whom Saint John describes: “This is He of whom I said, ‘After me comes a Man who is preferred before me, for He was before me’”"

 From Dynamis Publications Daily Readings, Jan. 7th, 2014

Happy New Year

"How much easier if our resolutions were a little more fun.

I will eat more bacon!
I will try that $79 bottle of single malt!"

- Brigid the blogger.....

Depression

"In traditional Christianity, the difficulties of life, the hardships are assumed as part of our fallen existence. Our bodies and our minds suffer the torments, but this is nothing but a temporary stage. The ascetic Fathers considered them as tests on par with the athletic exercises, very useful in practicing and improving the powers of the soul like patience, kindness, hope, faith and so forth. We keep our mind in hell when we consciously assume the pain of living in a fallen world, when we learn from this passing agony to avoid the even greater torture of an eternity without Christ. But there is hope in this suffering because Christ himself has suffered them first and has opened for us a way out of despair, a way out of pain, a way out of death. Christ is the well of life, the bread of eternity, and the only Man we need."

A Cure for Depression from St. Silouan the Athonite

Hurray For Our Side

"Everyone always sees themselves on the side of the angels, no one wants to believe they're the problem instead of the solution. Democrats think they're saving us from evil Republicans, Republicans think they're saving us from idiot Democrats. The truth, unfortunately, is that there is no one to save us from ourselves."
- gearbox123, blog commenter at www.the-american-interest.com

Truth In Love

Truth in love is difficult.

Truth in anger, truth in bitterness, truth in cynicism; all much easier, and lazier.

It is part of a bigger challenge:  being honest, brave, and diligent without being an annoying toxic asshole.

Love hurts.